i am too close
to myself to see
the impact
of day by day.

but i was asked,
how are you doing?
i stopped.
i wanted to know,

how am i doing?
and in that moment,
that pause,
the last two years

came into clear focus.
for this brief moment,
right now
slips into my hand;

i won’t lose it.
i turn to look:
what has
my life now become?

and the gentle surprise
that day by day
gently, relentlessly,
has remade my world.

the long dark days
of cold, drear nothing;
the fear
that ate my hopes;

i did my best
to build something,
however small;
i just hadn’t seen

the work i did,
the quiet, solitary effort
to find
what i desperately sought:

my life, not perfect,
but no longer trapped.
when had
my life become this?

i open my hand
and right now, free,
once again
offers me its shelter.