gloating over the misfortune
of someone who deserves
to suffer misfortune
does not do me
a lot of good.
it’s the way
he behaves.
it’s part of what makes him
so reprehensible,
so deserving
of a comeuppance.
“i want to do better”
is not good enough;
i have to
do better,
be better,
even if the best i can do
for now
is not gloat
too much.