i did not learn
as a child
how to be
healthy & strong,
my own person.
i learned
fear & isolation.
i learned
how very little
i mattered
to me.
later,
i found Jesus
and He told me
“too right, loser”
and then bragged
only He
could save me.
made me feel
real good
about myself.
nothing i tried
after that
did me much good,
but then,
everything i tried
after that
i did half-assed.
i was good
at half-assed,
not that that’s
anything
to brag about.
so that is how
i got here.
and once
i got here,
i found that
here
is the only place
i need to be.
a lifetime of
there & elsewhere,
never here.
no wonder
i could never
find myself.
i never looked
in the place
where i was.