getting serious about life
after 63-plus years
of aimless wandering,
not to mention
too many snacks
and too little exercise,
is asking a lot
of a tired old man
who has never understood
why he’s here
in the first damn place.
i’ve done my part
to keep our species going;
what other purpose
do i serve?
and so the books,
and so the weekly session
with the nice young man
who really wants to help,
and so the bike rides,
and the too-few minutes
sitting in silence,
legs crossed and groaning,
seeking nothing
that can be found
through seeking.
ultimately,
everything ends
and nothing has
any meaning.
that doesn’t mean
it shouldn’t be
taken seriously,
nor that it should be
taken lightly.
there’s a reason
for me being here.
i just have
to make it up
and believe it.

i am trying to find
the person i want to be.