my super-powers
are beyond belief.
BELIEVE IT!
i am not one,
but two, count ‘em, two!
mind-blowing, breath-taking
superheroes
in a single superlative form.
witness, and be amazed!
in one breathless moment,
i am Great Intentions Man,
the unmatchable being
most determined
to do the most amazing,
incredible, and competent
everything ever!
no one is more committed
to the performance
of great acts of great greatness
than me,
Great Intentions Man.
if you need not just greatness
but the intention for greatness,
call on Great Intentions Man:
he has every intention
of being as great as he intends!
ah, but don’t blink
or you will miss your chance 
to gasp in amazement at –
Utter Failure Man!
yes, while other mere mortals
move well enough through life
with a satisfactory mixture
of successes and disappointments,
only Utter Failure Man
has the power
to transform any opportunity for action
into a moment of
pure and utter failure!
witness!
the failure to accomplish
a single thing to which he is committed!
experience!
the shame and humiliation
as yet again,
pure and utter failure!
delight!
not a single expectation
of the inevitability of failure
is disappointed!
consider yourself among the lucky few
who get to witness with your own
carefree and lackluster eyes
the glory and despair
of this powerful monument
to human nature
miraculously contained
in a single human being.
Great Intentions Man
and his dark nemesis,
and dearest companion,
Utter Failure Man.
walking quietly among you,
disguised as ever as
mild-mannered
and tired-of-it-all
me.