my world, my life
are never good enough.
i understand
the evolutionary forces
behind the urge:
the necessary fear
learned generations ago,
otherwise i would not be here.
so, thanks, ancient ancestors
who got fear right
and did enough
to save all your asses.
mine, too.
and i don’t to sound ungrateful,
but that skill
needed to be unlearned
long ago.
a brain dependent on fear
kept you alive;
that same brain
is keeping me from living.
oh, the irony.
i will unlearn for myself
and hope my children
and grandchildren
find ways to make up
for me passing along
this burden
so thoughtlessly.
a life without fear,
a life without longing
for something better
that really isn’t better –
that would be good.
that would be peace.