i really wish
being tired
was an actual
and defensible excuse;
i’d be set for life.
not that anyone
expects much of me
in the first place.
i’ve done a good job
reducing that possibility
to rubble.
still, now and then,
i yearn to be more
than a disappointing,
and disappointed,
tired old man.
i can imagine
me as a hero –
or, at least,
respected and admired.
i can see the way
to make that reality,
the steps needed to transform
from this listless,
useless waste of space
to an energized
and, yes, active
advocate for those
who need a voice.
not a hero
but one of them,
an ordinary person
who will speak up,
will will act up
for change,
for justice!
i can see that path
before me…
oh, god.
the thought
exhausts me….