walking up
the down escalator
is where my mind goes
when i feel
like i’ve not done enough
not doing enough
and then i get
all judgmentally on myself
and slide into
the hopelessness
that would kill me
if i let it.
so i take a moment,
look more carefully,
and it’s not an escalator
but just the stairs,
and i continue
to move upwards
to move forward.
and that’s also
a crappy-ass metaphor
because endless stairs
are awful, too.
this is just my life.
this is just today.
there is nowhere
i have to go,
no up, down, or elsewhere.
the only reason
to go anywhere
is because
i want to.
anything else
is a step
off the ledge
into the darkness.