a hamster wheel
would at least
give me exercise.
i gain nothing
from my
spinning-in-place.
but it’s morning
(again)
and the wheel
is still.
here is a moment
for my first
choice of the day.
i feel it:
the desire for today
for right now
to be different.
to be … what?
ha!
like i have
any idea
what living my life
in a way
that is freedom
looks like
feels like.
i know what
trapped is.
i know what
a rut is.
i know what
it feels like
to live
without happiness
without purpose.
here’s what i have been learning:
start with nothing.
strive for nothing.
let the only goal be
to live free
of goals.
emptiness
is good enough;
a place to start
a place to be.