T.A. Barnhart
2018-04-07 SS poemetry page.png


a way to explore thoughts, usually first thing in the morning.

twenty-two jan

it’s a deviant pride
to meet at least
the minimum score
on the official ratings
to know that, yes!
i have a mental illness.
it beats being
an ordinary loser.
of course,
no one really cares
that i have an illness
that makes no sense to them:

“here’s a pill. be happy.”
“they pay me to listen to you for 50 minutes.”
“what they fuck is wrong with you?”
“you seem fine to me.”
“you just need to try harder.”

i know better.
i know the truth,
that i am broken
and can never fix myself.
i know that no one
cares enough
to help me get better.
i also know this:
they will all care
a lot more
if i hurt someone.

T.A. Barnhart